Ponderings before slumber
Jun. 10th, 2019 12:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gullwhackerThe evening is done and gone, and were it sensible I would be in bed. Most of the evening was lost to trying to convince children to sleep, though, so instead I'm spitefully awake. Not quite alert enough to get any meaningful writing done, but too stubborn to simply go to bed.
What better to do than to create a new tag for future posts at this hour and write some ramblings and musings. This is a journal, after all, so I might as well put a few thoughts into it.
So, perhaps rashly, I elected to continue on with my old journal instead of starting fresh. At least one friend has commended the courage and folly in doing so. All my old posts and comments are still up, so that I can look back on what I used to talk about. Games that appealed, fandom-centred asks, nothing huge or exciting.
I'm not sure if I'll do more of the same going forward. Part of me wants to shift to more contemplative posts, mulling on the nature of gender expression or parenting or similar topics. Part of me wants to just geek out about the new fandoms I've tripped head-first into. I think the existence of![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
queerly_beloved is what got me posting again in the first place, so maybe the answer will be a little bit of both.
So what's new on both fronts?
On the self-contemplation side, I'm kind of contemplating a few labels I haven't had a chance to sit back and think about before. One's 'autistic', where I check off quite a few boxes and I've recently sheepishly realized just how many. Another's 'agender', which is something I hadn't really thought about before but I'm taking time to consider. Mentioning it on the internet is something that's likely to gather both support and terrible advice.
On a strongly related note, there's parenting. Kids are work, and kind of scary because they learn so much more than I think anyone realizes. Out of...principle? Respect? Oddball ideas? Whatever the reason, I'm trying (and sometimes failing) to avoid using gender-specific pronouns for them. Once they're old enough to tell me one way or another, maybe.
On a side less tied to real-life, fandoms continue to be a thing. I find I'm a lot more easy-going about ships than I used to be; I still have preferences, I still get excited or demotivated by one or another, but I only have a few very strong nope buttons.
(Incest, power discrepancy like student/teacher, coercion or force. In short the array of buttons that Akio from Revolutionary Girl Utena just lounges on.)
In recent years - and it feels a little odd to put it that way - I've drifted away from darker series. The allure of things like Fate/whatever and When They Cry has more or less worn off, and I don't feel up to seeking out murderfests and the like. I can still handle some serious things, but given a choice I'd rather have fun with my entertainment these days.
Fandom-wise...honestly, I fell face-first into Miraculous Ladybug fanworks a few months ago and got back into the series after having drifted away. The episodes, apart from airing sporadically, felt like they weren't going anywhere interesting and I kind of stopped following them for a while. I discovered a fan-comic reimagining more recently, binged it, and proceeded to catch up on about a year of canon updates and fandom salt. Suddenly I'm following possibly too many authors on AO3 and commenting on all the things.
The last fanfic I remember writing was for Sing, which was honestly a fun musical found-family movie. That story's sitting incomplete, to my shame, as my weekly update schedule got wrecked by a small child. I've got a couple of ideas for other stories, though, which I honestly should put into action. The big one there is a Miraculous Ladybug AU bluntly described as 'Chloe has to put up with Plagg, have fun with character development' - which is a probably big project and I kind of want to jump ahead to an 'episode' from the middle.
Which I suppose I could do. Canon doesn't care about airing its episodes in chronological order, so why should I?
Other than that, I've mostly been doing some beta-reading on occasion foreastofthemoon - not everything, but whatever I'm asked to do. I just have way too much fun with my suggestions, sometimes. I'm also a participant on a magical girl MUSH, albeit sometimes sporadically due to schedule. I also keep having ideas for RPG campaigns that mostly run into problems of 'I don't have time and neither does anyone I'd tap as a player'.
As for series I'm enjoying, admittedly my attention jumps around quite a bit. Recently finished Star Vs. the Forces of Evil, watching the reboots of She-Ra and DuckTales, slowly getting through Good Omens, waiting for the next Queen's Thief book, and generally seeing what else catches my interest. Maybe I should do a separate ask about those.
So there's my brief midnight life update. Probably nothing revolutionary, just a bunch of rambling that perhaps no one needs to read but that I feel better for having written. I feel more comfortable posting things like that here over Tumblr or Twitter - there's a lot less of a potential signal boost for idle mutterings. Maybe I'll just start making these more often; if anyone got through that, questions are welcome in the comments.
What better to do than to create a new tag for future posts at this hour and write some ramblings and musings. This is a journal, after all, so I might as well put a few thoughts into it.
So, perhaps rashly, I elected to continue on with my old journal instead of starting fresh. At least one friend has commended the courage and folly in doing so. All my old posts and comments are still up, so that I can look back on what I used to talk about. Games that appealed, fandom-centred asks, nothing huge or exciting.
I'm not sure if I'll do more of the same going forward. Part of me wants to shift to more contemplative posts, mulling on the nature of gender expression or parenting or similar topics. Part of me wants to just geek out about the new fandoms I've tripped head-first into. I think the existence of
queerly_beloved is what got me posting again in the first place, so maybe the answer will be a little bit of both.So what's new on both fronts?
On the self-contemplation side, I'm kind of contemplating a few labels I haven't had a chance to sit back and think about before. One's 'autistic', where I check off quite a few boxes and I've recently sheepishly realized just how many. Another's 'agender', which is something I hadn't really thought about before but I'm taking time to consider. Mentioning it on the internet is something that's likely to gather both support and terrible advice.
On a strongly related note, there's parenting. Kids are work, and kind of scary because they learn so much more than I think anyone realizes. Out of...principle? Respect? Oddball ideas? Whatever the reason, I'm trying (and sometimes failing) to avoid using gender-specific pronouns for them. Once they're old enough to tell me one way or another, maybe.
On a side less tied to real-life, fandoms continue to be a thing. I find I'm a lot more easy-going about ships than I used to be; I still have preferences, I still get excited or demotivated by one or another, but I only have a few very strong nope buttons.
(Incest, power discrepancy like student/teacher, coercion or force. In short the array of buttons that Akio from Revolutionary Girl Utena just lounges on.)
In recent years - and it feels a little odd to put it that way - I've drifted away from darker series. The allure of things like Fate/whatever and When They Cry has more or less worn off, and I don't feel up to seeking out murderfests and the like. I can still handle some serious things, but given a choice I'd rather have fun with my entertainment these days.
Fandom-wise...honestly, I fell face-first into Miraculous Ladybug fanworks a few months ago and got back into the series after having drifted away. The episodes, apart from airing sporadically, felt like they weren't going anywhere interesting and I kind of stopped following them for a while. I discovered a fan-comic reimagining more recently, binged it, and proceeded to catch up on about a year of canon updates and fandom salt. Suddenly I'm following possibly too many authors on AO3 and commenting on all the things.
The last fanfic I remember writing was for Sing, which was honestly a fun musical found-family movie. That story's sitting incomplete, to my shame, as my weekly update schedule got wrecked by a small child. I've got a couple of ideas for other stories, though, which I honestly should put into action. The big one there is a Miraculous Ladybug AU bluntly described as 'Chloe has to put up with Plagg, have fun with character development' - which is a probably big project and I kind of want to jump ahead to an 'episode' from the middle.
Which I suppose I could do. Canon doesn't care about airing its episodes in chronological order, so why should I?
Other than that, I've mostly been doing some beta-reading on occasion for
eastofthemoon - not everything, but whatever I'm asked to do. I just have way too much fun with my suggestions, sometimes. I'm also a participant on a magical girl MUSH, albeit sometimes sporadically due to schedule. I also keep having ideas for RPG campaigns that mostly run into problems of 'I don't have time and neither does anyone I'd tap as a player'.As for series I'm enjoying, admittedly my attention jumps around quite a bit. Recently finished Star Vs. the Forces of Evil, watching the reboots of She-Ra and DuckTales, slowly getting through Good Omens, waiting for the next Queen's Thief book, and generally seeing what else catches my interest. Maybe I should do a separate ask about those.
So there's my brief midnight life update. Probably nothing revolutionary, just a bunch of rambling that perhaps no one needs to read but that I feel better for having written. I feel more comfortable posting things like that here over Tumblr or Twitter - there's a lot less of a potential signal boost for idle mutterings. Maybe I'll just start making these more often; if anyone got through that, questions are welcome in the comments.
